Umbral Echoes Blog

A friend just posted a link to this interview with Suzanne Venker, co-author (along with Phyllis Schlafly) of The Flipside of Feminism: What Conservative Women Know—and Men Can’t Say. Feminists will probably be familiar with Schlafly already, and this interview with Venker is… well, read it for yourself.

As a note, I do consider myself a feminist; I believe in equal pay for equal work, and that employers should treat women the same as men. I also believe in equal treatment both ways, so for example I think women in the military should be allowed in combat, but should also have equal physical fitness requirements as men.  Physics don’t care whether you’re a man or a woman — if your buddy (who weighs 230 lbs. including gear) gets knocked unconscious by an IED, you’d better damn well be able to pull that buddy to safety, period.

And whatever strides [feminism] made in the workforce have had tremendous ramifications for businesses, so they came at a great cost to businesses and government. It’s a double-edged sword.

The abuse problem is smaller than it’s made out to be, and when you draw attention to something that’s so terrible, it’s like the issue of homosexuality today. The awareness that gays exist, or that terrible men beat their wives, is good to recognize but not to belabor or exaggerate.

Why would you have a whole movement to make women feel better about not choosing to have children?

It is my belief that ultimately nobody, male or female, can be happy with that lifestyle, with having sex with whoever they want, having sex with your friends, or one night stands and all that.

Feminists are not concerned with anybody outside of America.

I understand that there are some valid points in this woman’s philosophy.  Feminism is about equal opportunities, but some feminists disrespect women who choose to be homemakers, and that’s not cool.  And… yeah, I think that’s about the only valid point I see.  People like this disgust me.

Yet still I’m glad that I live in a country where they can spout their nonsense.

It seems like companies with good customer service are the exception and not the rule these days. So when I come into contact with one, I like to give a shout-out.

This time, it’s my pet insurance company, PetsBest.com. First, a bit of background information.

A few years back, my dog Kayla started limping on her right leg.  Some days it was better, some days it was worse.  I feared that she was developing a problem with her hip, so I took her to the vet.  After some x-rays, it became apparent that it was actually her knee — she had a cruciate ligament tear (the dog equivalent of an ACL injury).  I was referred to a surgeon, who verified the tear, and gave two options for treatment.  Option 1 was essentially a tough rubber-band-like-thing to replace the missing ligament.  This was cheaper, but would only last a few years, and wouldn’t give her full mobility back.  Option 2 was a tibial plateau leveling osteotomy (TPLO), wherein they basically cut the leg bone and reorient how the knee works, so that ligament isn’t needed any more.  I went for option 2, even though it was pricey.

The surgeon also informed me that there was about a 90% likelihood that she’d need it in the other leg at some point.  So, I immediately got some insurance for her.  After looking around, I went with Pets Best — seemed pretty affordable and they had a few different service levels.

Fast forward a little less than a year.  Kayla was starting to limp on her left leg.  I held out for a while, but things got progressively worse and I went ahead and booked her for the second surgery.  Before that, I called Pets Best to double-check what the policy was.  They said since it was more than a year since I started the policy, it should be covered (assuming no actual rupture had occurred in that first year).  There were signs that it would rupture within that first year, but no actual rupture.  Regardless, knowing how insurance companies are, I was a little concerned.

Well, I didn’t need to be.  They paid for every bit that they had promised — the maximum that the policy would cover for that sort of surgery.  A typical insurance company would have looked for loopholes (it was not a cheap surgery by any means, and they’re not likely to ever get that much back from me in policy premiums).  But they didn’t.  I also found out that their policy was one of the best in the industry as far as cruciate tears; other companies have a minimum 18+ month period between the start of the policy and when they will cover that surgery.

Every time I’ve called in, I’ve gotten on the phone with a real human being within 30 seconds. Their associates have always been incredibly courteous and helpful, while not over-promising — no bait and switch, just honest and up-front.  Dealing with them feels like dealing with real people, not corporate ass-hats.

I apparently left my instant messenger on last night when I was out, as I am wont to do.  So my apologies for not responding — I wasn’t ignoring you, I promise.  Except for you, Bagwell.  You, I was ignoring, you tall bastard.

Went to a lecture last night by Jackson Katz, which was centered on male violence toward women.  It was interesting to see a man speaking on gender issues, and likewise he did come at it from a very different angle.  His premise is that things like this shouldn’t be called women’s issues, or even gender issues, but men’s issues.  He gave several reasons for this, like the fact that the vast majority of violence/abuse is perpetrated by men, and therefore it’s an issue with the male culture of violence.  What struck home for me was when he said when it’s labelled “women’s issues” or even “gender issues,” men tend to automatically ignore it and assume it doesn’t apply to them.  I realized that I’ve been guilty of that, myself.

What was also interesting is that Katz is a very “manly” man — college football player, solid-looking guy with a square jaw and stubble, the whole nine yards.  It was an odd contrast hearing a guy like that talk about these sorts of issues, and I think that probably helps the effectiveness of his programs.  Hearing this same message from an effeminate guy, for example, wouldn’t have nearly the same impact.

One really interesting thing that he demonstrated was the image of males in the media.  We often hear about how women are pressured to be this ideal Barbie-like form, but he showed some examples of the image of men changing, too.  Professional wrestlers, for example, used to be big guys overall, but also a little tubby.  These days, they’re steroid-infused freakshows.  And the best example was toys — he showed an example of a Luke Skywalker figure from the 70’s, versus one from the 90’s.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a great one from the 90’s, but I think you can tell the difference here, regardless.

70’s:

90’s.  Check out these pecs:

Katz works with the Marines, high school and college sports organizations, and other such groups to curb violence against women.  He said that one really important factor was to create a culture in those groups where it’s not okay to abuse/mistreat women.  I found this to already be true in a lot of groups that I’ve been in — both friend groups, and sporting groups.  There has always seemed to be a general attitude of, “If some guy hurts a girl, I’ll kick his fucking ass.”

In fact, I knew a guy in middle school named Andy, who was 2 years ahead of me.  For a while he was sort of a big brother/mentor to me, and he was involved in a group that essentially acted as vigilantes.  He told me a story once of how they took a crowbar to the knees of a guy who physically abused his girlfriend.  Of course, I could never know if any of it was actually true, or if he was just trying to win my awe (he was successful, if so), but in either case it shows the sort of counter-abuse culture that Katz was talking about.  Though granted, probably taken a few steps past what he intends.

There were a lot of other neat points in the lecture, but I won’t go into them all here.  Suffice to say, it made me think about some things differently than I had before.  He came at it from a viewpoint similar to that in Boondock Saints.  “I don’t hit or rape girls,” isn’t really saying much of anything.  If you see injustice happening, and do nothing about it, then you’re essentially condoning it.

I run my personal site’s blog using WordPress. It automatically posts everything I write there to LiveJournal. Well, WordPress has recently come out with a major upgrade, so up shall I grade.  Hopefully nothing bad will come of this.

EDIT: Looks like everything went swimmingly.  For those of you who have a similar setup, there was one small change that needed to be made to the LiveJournal crossposter plugin, and that change can be found here.

I just thought about this again, and it’s a slightly disturbing thought to me for some reason: I’ve been on the design team, and am listed in the Concept and Design section, for three White Wolf core books (Mage: the Awakening, Changeling: the Lost, and Scion: Hero), yet I’ve only ever played one of them (Scion), and I only played that once.  I’ve never even completely read through the others to see what they turned out like.

If I were to find that one of the designers of a game never played the final product, I would be pretty surprised.  And a little let down, if I were a fan of that game.  But honestly, I’ve had little time to roleplay recently, and recently I haven’t really been inspired to do so.  I’d love to get a regular Scion game going, but most of my friends here are enamored with D&D, and my second group is on Exalted (which is one of my favorite games).

When I do something, I do it.  When I used to play Magic, I had the rules for every card memorized that was in the tournament type in which I competed.  When I played Mage: the Ascension, I knew the rules forward and backward (I think Ian is the only person I’ve met who knew the rules at least as well as I — hi, Ian!).  I’ve had a problem playing Exalted lately, because I don’t know it nearly as well as I used to.  I can’t really stand to do something halfway.  So I end up just not doing a lot of things, because I know I don’t have enough time to devote to doing them well (or at least, what I consider “well”).

But I digress.  I suppose my overall point is that I feel somewhat like a hypocrite for having helped design games that I’ve never played, and in all likelihood won’t (though Changeling does seem really frackin’ cool, so I’d at least like to try it some time).  I feel… almost a sense of obligation there.  Or rather, as if I’m shirking an obligation.  Is that weird?

Bagwell originally pointed me toward the video game review series Zero Punctuation, and another friend brought it up again. Best game reviewer ever. Here is his review of Guitar Hero III.

So tonight, for the first time in… I don’t know how long, I had a meal that wasn’t microwavable, drinkable, or even fast-foody.  I also learned that every Tuesday and Thursday night, White Wolf provides a very tasty home-cooked dinner for any employee who wants it.  This is in addition to providing breakfast and lunch daily.  Good food and balanced meals, not just standard cafeteria faire of soup, sandwich, and meatloaf.

It is amazing what a difference a good meal can make.  Physically, I feel better than I have in months.  Psychiatrists prescribe people pills to make them feel better because no one is willing to eat a healthy, balanced diet, and exercise regularly.  I’ve got the exercise down, but honestly I am pretty damn lazy when it comes to cooking.  Spaghetti is about as non-pre-prepared as I get.  I cook a mean chili, but it’s been years (and that’s not exactly “healthy,” either).  Which is all a  shame, because I love food.  Absolutely love to eat, to taste.  Must eat about every 2-3 hours in fact, or my body rebels.
Maybe it’s time to fire up the grill.

Since Spring is upon us, I thought I’d share a couple of pictures of the trees that are blooming in my yard.  Mainly because soon, I know the pollen will come (take “come” however you wish).

Here’s a tree in the front yard:

And here’s one in the back:

ABC News reports that libraries in southeast Michigan are drawing teens in by offering games for checkout, and having tournaments of Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero to draw a crowd.

On the one hand, maybe they just want to get the kids in the habit of going to the library, even if it’s not for reading.  But seriously, people… is putting teens in the physical presence of books going to make them want to read?  That’s like saying that putting a stripper on stage at the opera will encourage people to explore the theater (yes, that’s “theater” — I spell it “-er,” not, “-re.”  You wanna fight about it?), leading a horse to water will make it drink, or whatever analogy you care to throw at it.

The scientist in me would be interested to see statistics, though — if more teenagers have been checking out books (as well as video games) since this program started.  Maybe the mindset is, “Well I’m here anyway… might as well check out the latest Hirsute Prestidigitator novel.”  I’m skeptical, but it’s possible.